just keep going

I'm having one of those days where I get overwhelmed.  When this happens, I shut down and have to focus on a simple thought, to get rid of the feeling that I might implode.  Today's simple thought is,

  "Just keep going.  Just keep going.  Just keep going.  Just keep going."

I made good progress on the pod over the weekend.  I made a stand, so now it's a little more "plantlike."  I'm having a bit of trouble deciding on the final colors.  I spent HOURS trying to make an ivory/ecru out of the polymer clay I had on hand - and finally ended up with a fairly nice tan.  But now I have lots of muddy grey unsuccessful clay lumps that I guess will be used as structure for other things.  The way I'm going to decorate the stand is also morphing in my head into a jewelry idea...

Just what I need!  Another jewelry idea!

I also have played a lot with finial ideas, but I'm still in the play stage.

I worked on making buttons.  Hmmm, now I can't remember where this idea came from, originally - to make buttons.  I've been carrying it around in my brain for quite some time.  The last few days though, it seems I can't lie down and "doze" or I will have 2 or more ideas for buttons arrive fully formed in my head.

"Dozing" for me is that time just before or usually just after sleep where my thoughts aren't verbal, they are visual, and very free.  I get a lot of inspiration and ideas during this "dreamtime".

Anyway, I had this idea for a kind of "tribal" button, big (2 inches square), and the scarf I will knit to go with it - a simple shawl, draped around the shoulders.  As the idea has rattled around a little, the concept of the shawl and how the button can be used has changed.

But that happens.  My brain (all our brains?) is like a rock tumbler.  Put something in there, and let it tumble around a bit, you're never quite certain what will come out the longer you leave it bouncing around.

And yes, I ought to keep a journal by the bed (or wherever I am napping), and write these inspirations down, but I don't.  I should.  If you have seen the series art:21  <--- this link is to a segment on the artist Richard Serra, and around 6:30 in the piece he talks about how he draws, and the purpose of it, of journaling, sketching, for him.  It's good stuff, that series.  You can see four seasons of the show at www.hulu.com.


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The great thing about being an artist

I have this wonderful book called "Work as a Spiritual Practice," by Lewis Richmond.  I have read it through at least once - I have also bought it once, lost it, and had to buy it again - it's that good.  Mostly I keep it around and pick it up, and read a page, and put it down, and pick it up again later.

He writes:

An eminent artist once said, "The great thing about being an artist is that for your whole life you know what your work is."

Which is true.  I guess.  Once I am working, I am focused, engaged, absorbed.  There is also the decision to be an artist - which, at least in my case, wasn't exactly a decision as much as a fact, like breathing or eating.  I don't feel like it was a choice, as much as a recognition that I am not happy or as involved in anything else I do with as much completion as when I am making art.  It just "is".  That mountain is over there, the sky is blue, and I am an artist.

But there still is a lot of uncertainty, especially when I'm not in the act of creating, but when I'm thinking about creating.  What shall I make?  Can I make it?  Will it come out okay?  What will other people think?

The most recurring question is "What if I do this?"  So many this-es to try!

But all that (ok, most of it) fades away when the hands start moving and the mind connects with the object in front of me.

I wish I knew who that "eminent artist" is - even google doesn't seem to know.


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New Year - goodbye to 2011, hello 2012

"Once I was beset by anxiety. I couldn't tell right from left or orient myself. I could have cried out with terror at being lost. But I pushed the fear away - by studying the sky, determining where the moon would come out, where the sun would appear in the morning. I saw myself in relationship to the stars. I began weeping, and I knew that I was all right.

"That is the way I make use of geometry today. The miracle is that I am able to do it, by geometry."

-Louise Bourgeois
New York, 1977
(her work)

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May we all find our geometry, our moon, our sun, and each other, and know we're all right in 2012.


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Perfection

In class a week or so ago, the teacher said, "Nature is perfect."

That phrase stuck with me - is nature perfect? With storms and falling leaves and cycles and death?

Is that perfection?

A few nights ago playing backgammon with a group of friends, someone was shellshocked by a diagnosis she had heard about - a person back East who was vital and in "perfect health" who started experiencing a problem... which turned out to be Stage 4 cancer. My friend kept repeating, "How can the body betray you that way?"

I related the "nature is perfect" phrase, trying to bring her comfort. "Nature is perfect." Meaning, it's not a betrayal, it's how it is. Looking back, I'm not sure how very comforting that is...

In any case, my opponent, a nice and usually quiet man, pipes up,

"To exist is perfect."



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I am working on prayer wheels, beads, recycled jewelry, and myself.

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seeds

Whew!!  Finally got the other website done (at my other job) and so now I'm over the hump!  Woot!  Now there's just the marketing and the SEO and the updating........... ... .. .  oh.

Well, I should have more time for wax carving and artwork though!  I've already added a layer of color to the blue pear; I'm waiting for that to dry and then I'll add another layer.  I should count the layers.  I'm on... five?  six?  I'm not sure at the moment.  Next painting!  I'll be anal retentive and count!!

Hmmmm, I just realized, I'm doing what the kids do!  I volunteer at an art program in our local schools, and when we do paintings, the kids never want to fill in the background.  The teachers show them Matisse and tell them, "Fill in the background!"  The kids make these tiny little figures and leave all the white space and then scream out, "I'm finished!!"  Lazy monkeys...

I never fill in the backgrounds on my pears either.  Oh wait, that's not true.  There's a big painting of a pear in my living room, and the background is filled in.  But.... that's because it was done on an old canvas I got from a flea market or something, and it was under my bed for a loooooooooonggggg time... and it was covered in dust.  It was filthy.  I had to paint over it, and I just used the line that the dust formed as a separator.  It looks like the pear is sitting on a windowsill or something.

That's the only background I've done though.

Thinking about what I should be carving - I need a Christmas project to go with the star... maybe a camel?  Then I'm also thinking of putting the heart aside for a bit - save it for Valentine's Day - and working on some earrings inspired by seeds instead.  Which is odd, since it's harvest time...  oooooh, farmers market tomorrow!!

But I have a thing about seeds and beans... so seeds it is!  I think...

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actual artwork

As this blog is supposed to be about creativity, I thought I might post some actual creative work...



this is a finished watercolor painting, the first pair of pears I ever did. not yet framed. for sale! feel free to inquire.



this is a single pear, work in progress. sometimes it's a shame to continue, they have such life in the early stages. it was meant to be blue, maybe it will end up blue when I'm finished... but i'm rather fond of this turquoise green color i found.

thinking of someone who is having surgery today... get well soon!!


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