a modicum of success

Here is an update on the painting:

This photo was taken with the new lighting setup:

Which.... in camera, it all looked great!  Still a little dark though, once I'm looking at them on the computer.  Especially the work in progress shot depicted here.  I'm thinking... there might be an averaging thing going on, either in the camera, or when I download the pics.  Also, I realized I am trying to get accuracy and light on very high contrast... on a white white paper and a dark dark object (the green wax).  So... I'm going to have to fudge with it a bit more.

But the colors in the painting are better, so... progress was made.  Again, any tips would be welcome.  (Yes, I know the one lamp is pointed in the wrong direction.  I fixed it, no worries.)

Three desk lamps, one 3-headed floor lamp, six CFL 100W lightbulbs, and one clear storage box (diffuses the light, although there are still shadow issues) all gotten at Lowe's and I think I spent less than $100 bucks on the setup.  And the box will store all the stuff when I'm through with it!  Woot!

_______________________________________________________

work in progress

A quick post before I go to class:

rowboat (c) beeanddew

The photography continuing to make me crazy, so going after class to see if I can find a solution!

Here's to better photos!

_______________________________________________________

grandparents

Gosh this seems like a good idea...

I only got to know one of my grandparents.  It's nice that one can access some on the internet.

_______________________________________________________

schooltime!!

I love the autumn, it's my favorite time of year.  Even though the asphalt is still soft, autumn is practically here, since school started yesterday.

I signed up to take the casting class again.  After more than a year break, I decided it would help focus me.  I adore my teacher, and the group this year is full of interesting folks.  It should be very very good!!

I am overflowing with ideas; I'm going to work this morning a little on just writing them all down.  In class yesterday I did some sketching and some old ideas came flooding back to me.  I need to really buckle down - my goal is to carve one charm a week, and then finish one other artwork besides that.   Christmas is coming, and I need to fill my shop!

I also need to fulfill my CE requirements for the real job, and my birthday is coming up.  It's going to be a busy week.  But I'm very inspired and excited.




I really like what this guy does.

hint:  move your mouse and watch their heads swivel....

_______________________________________________________

people who care

Working on Shambhala, he talks a lot about tenderness of the heart, the broken heart.  I've found this confusing, and unspecific.  I haven't been sure how to work with it.  Sometimes I think, "Oh, I wish this were in English!"

But it is in English, and there's nothing wrong with the English.  It's the concept that's foreign.

Yesterday, I had a thought.  "People who care don't let go."  I was very pleased with myself.  It was all nice and tidy.

"People who care don't let go."  Oh, I thought it explained so much!

As I kept thinking about it though, I realized - it's too easy.  I'm right at Chapter Seven, the part about the cocoon.  Is this something I have pinned to the wall of my cocoon?  Right there next to the Peter Frampton poster?

"People who care don't let go."

There's something trite about it.  Something self-righteous.  Something controlling.  It allows me to vilify, and to stick everyone who has left into a category.  It's judgmental.  It's a good line in a bad movie - the kind of line they would put in the trailer to make you think, "Oh, this movie is going to be good, it's clever!"  Then you watch the movie and you realize.... no, it isn't.

Then I changed it.

"People who care do let go."

Wow, that's painful.

But it explains a lot too.  It feels more open.  Anger and fear drops away, and all that's left is truth and space.

"People who care do let go."

There is space, but there's no room left for vilification or judgment.  Or ego.  It is only space.

It just is.  It isn't "about" and it isn't "because".  It just is.

It makes much more sense.

It's a real good poke with a stick, that.

The heart does feel more tender, and more full.

It's why we need to be brave.

_______________________________________________________

seeds

Whew!!  Finally got the other website done (at my other job) and so now I'm over the hump!  Woot!  Now there's just the marketing and the SEO and the updating........... ... .. .  oh.

Well, I should have more time for wax carving and artwork though!  I've already added a layer of color to the blue pear; I'm waiting for that to dry and then I'll add another layer.  I should count the layers.  I'm on... five?  six?  I'm not sure at the moment.  Next painting!  I'll be anal retentive and count!!

Hmmmm, I just realized, I'm doing what the kids do!  I volunteer at an art program in our local schools, and when we do paintings, the kids never want to fill in the background.  The teachers show them Matisse and tell them, "Fill in the background!"  The kids make these tiny little figures and leave all the white space and then scream out, "I'm finished!!"  Lazy monkeys...

I never fill in the backgrounds on my pears either.  Oh wait, that's not true.  There's a big painting of a pear in my living room, and the background is filled in.  But.... that's because it was done on an old canvas I got from a flea market or something, and it was under my bed for a loooooooooonggggg time... and it was covered in dust.  It was filthy.  I had to paint over it, and I just used the line that the dust formed as a separator.  It looks like the pear is sitting on a windowsill or something.

That's the only background I've done though.

Thinking about what I should be carving - I need a Christmas project to go with the star... maybe a camel?  Then I'm also thinking of putting the heart aside for a bit - save it for Valentine's Day - and working on some earrings inspired by seeds instead.  Which is odd, since it's harvest time...  oooooh, farmers market tomorrow!!

But I have a thing about seeds and beans... so seeds it is!  I think...

_______________________________________________________

Failure is not an option!!

I am wax carving again!! I started yesterday, on one of the heart projects I have in mind.  A broken heart.

I saw my Little (Little Sister, I am part of Big Brothers Big Sisters and highly recommend it). I hadn't seen her in a bit, and school is starting, so I called her on Friday and we drove up to the mountains and took some photographs. I told her my idea for this project - she's 15 and probably the right demographic to buy it - and she liked it. So I started on it yesterday.

In case you don't know what wax carving is... I post an old example from last year:

xmas star in sterling silver

To make something that looks like that ^...

first you have to carve it out of wax, and it looks like this:

wax carving of xmas star

I carve things out of wax and then take them to the nice man and he casts them in silver for me.  I also have a moon in this series... visit my shop on etsy to see what's available.

Just the act of hauling out the tools relieved some of the tension I was feeling.  Pity parties suck.  I feel bad, then I feel bad about feeling bad, then I feel guilty about feeling bad about feeling bad.... potential for endless suckage.  I can only have U2 and Green Day on repeat for so long before the neighbors start complaining...

My Little failed algebra, so I have decided to learn it and then tutor her.  Failure is not an option!! I was terrible at math in school.  However, after searching the library and the internet, I found a GREAT resource for anyone who wants to learn math - Danica McKellars' math books.  The first one is Math Doesn't Suck: How to Survive Middle School Math Without Losing Your Mind or Breaking a Nail which I do not have yet.  I have the second one, the pre-algebra one - and it's fantastic!  Especially for girls...  I may go and purchase the first one this afternoon (I'm having the teensiest bit of trouble still with fractions and square roots.)

BUT!!!!  I can't believe it!  I actually am understanding math!!!

_______________________________________________________

abandon all hope

A number of circumstances have turned me back towards my spiritual books. Most notably "Shambhala Sacred Path of the Warrior". I am also reading - from the beginning this time! - Pema Chodron's "Start Where You Are".


I am reading it from the start, trying to meditate. Flipping through the pages, I came across the heading "Abandon all hope of fruition", which was intriguing to say the least! So I took a few moments and actually read that chapter, out of order.


The heading sounds downright forlorn. But it wasn't. It was very helpful, actually. Funny, how that works. Abandon all hope - yet I feel as if a weight has been lifted.


I actually - gasp - took my painting out onto the roof deck to use natural light. It is a bright beautiful FULLY SUNNY afternoon... and the picture still came out too dark. The painting is more vibrant in person :)







(I cheated a lil - I did mess with this photo in a digital art program. Feel free to pass on any photography tips! Should I just buy brighter light bulbs?)




P.S. haha writing the tags, I just wrote out "sunshine warrior"... I like that...


_______________________________________________________

actual artwork

As this blog is supposed to be about creativity, I thought I might post some actual creative work...



this is a finished watercolor painting, the first pair of pears I ever did. not yet framed. for sale! feel free to inquire.



this is a single pear, work in progress. sometimes it's a shame to continue, they have such life in the early stages. it was meant to be blue, maybe it will end up blue when I'm finished... but i'm rather fond of this turquoise green color i found.

thinking of someone who is having surgery today... get well soon!!


_______________________________________________________

warrior world

That combination of love affair and loneliness is what enables the warrior to constantly reach out to help others. By renouncing his private world, the warrior discovers a greater universe and a fuller and fuller broken heart.

-Shambhala, The Sacred Path of the Warrior, by Chogyam Trungpa


Oy, I need to redesign this thing today, or at some point. I'm still working on my other website.

But this one needs some visual depth...

_______________________________________________________

Moreover, I, on my side, require of every writer, first or last, a simple and sincere account of his own life, and not merely what he has heard of other men's lives; some such account as he would send to his kindred from a distant land; for if he has lived sincerely it must have been in a distant land to me.

-Walden: or, Life in the Woods, by Henry David Thoreau


oooooh looky! a baby cricket!!!!


_______________________________________________________